65. Parenting in the times of “safer at home”

adoption foster foster care kids trauma Apr 17, 2020

Hello, everyone. I have been putting off writing a post because I wanted to see what happened in the world. I was like everyone else, sitting on the edge of my seat watching the articles and news trickle in. I was a person that took Coronavirus (COVID-19) seriously when it was “still in China” and that wasn’t enough to keep me from catching the virus.

April 13th, 2020 my fever spiked to just over 101 degrees at about midnight. I had had a slight odd sore through the Wednesday before but didn’t think anything of it. The next 3 weeks were brutal. There was more than one point that I thought I was going to die. My thoughts went to my family. My wife, our daughters, one getting ready to launch into the world and the other living in another state at a facility. How would they do if I didn’t make it. If I suffocated in my sleep, as was my biggest fear. Would the world move on without me quickly or would my little corner of the world stop for just a few moments in the midst of a crisis?

These are not thoughts any parent wants to be having at 2am. Let alone a parent in their mid thirties. A parent that has to put on a brave face for their kiddo that is living a state away in a facility who is deathly afraid of natural illness and crisis. A child that has attached closely to me in a way that she hasn’t been able to do so with anyone else. How could I give up and leave her alone? I couldn’t. So I fought. I pushed through excruciating pain and I walked around the house at the pace of turtle walking through molasses. But I walked. I went outside and let the crisp air fill my lungs while my family sanitized the house day after day. I pushed through and I’m on the mend.

I share this, mainly because I get how hard it is to parent in the time of safer at home, and I know how hard it is parent while sick with this virus.

It all seems impossible. We love our kids. We love them more than life itself, and yet we just want one moment of peace! One moment where someone isn’t standing in front of you, or on your lap, or hanging from your neck while you try to use the restroom. One moment when these young humans are not looking to you for answers we don’t have.

This pandemic has us all reeling. The adults are struggling with their mental health and we can sit on zoom once the kiddos finally succumb to sleep and chat with friends while drinking a glass of wine (or Fresca in my book :D). We can talk to our parents, our significant others, we can read things online, and we can access tools to help us cope. We are ALL that to our kiddos. That is a heady task. You don’t have to do it alone.

If you are interested in parent coaching, message me. I’m offering one heck of a discount right now (33% off for life). I specialize in working with parents through the hardest parts of parenting. Check out the testimonial page for what current/past clients have said.

Not interested in parent coaching? That’s cool too. Find your people. Your support. A therapist, a friend that “gets it”, a fellow parent that is in the same boat and will help you through the muck- that validates your feelings and helps you through them.

Find your people because the one thing that is perfectly clear right now, in a time when things are murky at best, is that we need each other more than ever.

Biggest of hugs!


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